Singlish? Or just Singaporeans?

Have one ever wonder, in this country just one degree north of the equator, what qualifies to be a true blue Singaporean?  Is it more of the physical appearance or the way we behave? Many had concluded with a vast majority of Singaporeans wear t-shirts with Bermudas (which lead many to conclude it being the national uniform).  However, in such terrible hot and humid weather, it seemed like the only logical option. One could not expect us to wear winter clothing right?

In addition to plain old fashion sense, what actually puts Singaporeans apart from other Asians? One would think Singaporeans appears to be well educated, elegant, and neat. But wait till one listens to us. Because we Singaporeans speaks in a unique manner. We’ve not a singular accent. Unlike our regional counterparts, we do not imitate either the American accent or English accent. Instead, we speak in a clearly, though at times too fast. It is easy to differentiate between our accent to that of the Hong Kong accent or Japanese accent. Reason being to that English is our official language and is being used to teach mathematics, science and even mandarin! Thus, this resonate for the missing accent.

The simplest way to identify a Singaporean by their speech? The emphasis on certain words, such as the –th. Or the poor sentence structure in their conversations. Singlish? The leh, lah. Think that’s what singlish is all about? Nope. But rather, the immensely popular usage of verbs and adjectives before a noun. An example shall be free gift. A gift is something which is complimentary. Thus the word, free, is kind of redundant. Another example might be ‘to-something’. Like ‘I want to eat’. I want to eat. It might be simple English, but sounds weird, and unique right? Uniquely Singapore. And the usage of ‘can anot’ (or some uses can or cannot?) Just like if one is able to do something. It’s either a yes or a no. the same goes for the ‘can or cannot’, with ‘can anot’ simplify everything.

Before I end off, let’s share a poem, with pure singlish (which I’ve in my e-mail)

You write like that in exam you sure siao (crazy),

Teacher mark your paper sure Kee Siao (go crazy)

This type of standard can pass anot (can…anot) , you ask yourself

Wait, you confirm kenna (attain) last in class one.

Singlish terms are in BOLD.

Just in the poem, there lies numerous Singlish terminology which the average Singaporeans use for the nth times in a single day. Singlish, is actually a beautiful language, but is so often critised. Be it an identity, it truly is Uniquely Singapore.

Marking your territory

It is considered taboo to actually mark what’s mine, and what’s yours in an official manner. No matter where the place might be, including schools, workplace, homes, etc. Simply because of the potential perception one might give others based on this action alone. This seemly innocent, harmless and also trivia action could, in actual fact, lead to a whole lot of other unrelated events.  

Ever since ancient times, humans had all along tried to mark their objects and resources. Be it by drawing out the lands they think they owned on a map (lands are owned by the Earth, not governments), sending their armies to protect it or even shouting loudly with signs emphasis to any potential innocent trespassers that they are near ‘my’ land, my place, where I rule it.

Not forgetting, also there are some people who grew jealous of others with vast amounts of objects and land that they tried all their means to obtain them. And by ‘all means’ also too, include sacrificing their own life. This is by what now The Hague termed it ‘conflict of interest’. It is a phrase so easy to misuse, to get what you want officially, albeit via an unethical manner. This lead to wars after wars, renaming of empires, dynasty, country names like Roman Empire to the Ottoman-Empire, Czechoslovakia to the now Czech Republic and Slovakia. It thus can be concluded that now it is only human nature to be envious of others and thus be greedy, trying to get more land/resources from others.

And thus now, by trying to mark your territory officially is now deemed to be of having a hostile personality, which makes you anti-social, and not peace loving. Elaborating further, it means you have a problem with yourself and others. Other’s would be very mindful of your each and every movement.

However, being humans, each and everyone would still love to have a clear, but a non-official line of what’s mine and yours. By not labelling or telling others this is mine, but by brands and model. One fine example? Stationery. Stationery, although cheap, is a vital tool to mark your territory. For you see, having our stationery all over the place translate to owning the whole table (in a shared office). It also is a sign of your influence all over the workplace. And being humans, we are afraid of sharing and also using the wrong type of stationery. Thus, I use a MUJI pen to mark that it’s mine. Firstly, few people in my class uses MUJI products. Secondly, MUJI is a product which I love to use. Thirdly, I can’t imagine using other non-MUJI products. Give me a pilot pen anytime, and I shall throw it straight in your face on the floor.

Till now, using my own type of stationery and having others knowing that I uses such stationery will actually trigger some receptors in their brain, that I’m using MUJI and so, please do not use MUJI, unless you want to copy me. And be a copy-cat bitch who is such a slut, and without their own fixed opinion to even stationery choice. Fuck off.

When one hear of another using such brand of stationery, you would go compare if they uses the same brand. If positive, be friends together, so as to achieve a win-win situation where you two can use each other stuffs without conflict. Because I believe you had invest vast resources into being unique and use this type of stationery. Else, be creative to further distinct what’s yours. Like changing the pen tip colour to yellow. This means it is unique in the sense that it is not store-bought direct, and you had customised it completely.

Ultimately, at the end, please keep your stationery well, and not lose it. Then, you will not falsely accuse others of stealing your stationery. Like in my case, a parker pen.

Many years ago, I’m the only person using Parker Pen (till some copy-cats came along). Thus I did not make it a point to actually mark it is mine. One day, I lost my pen (which is so sad) and I tried searching for it in the classroom, but to no avail. Until a month later, I saw my pen in a fucker’s pencil case. I immediately snatch it away from the stupid fucker (I knew the fucker well that he’s too poor to even buy a pilot G2 pen, much less a Parker) and put it in my pencil case. Sure enough, the fucker did not make a fuss. Because if he report the theft, no one would believe him, since he’s so poor. I think he knew I took the pen back, because he gave me the death stare whenever I talk to him.

I realised why he would take the pen and use it for himself. Because I did not proclaim I’m using a Parker pen, thus, when I lose a pen, anybody could just shout across I’m too, using a Parker pen. Thus now, I make it a point that I’m using MUJI pens, thus, if they found any MUJI pen (or pens acting like MUJI), they would first, ask me if I lose any MUJI pen, before asking others. However silly this ‘strategy’ might sound, it sure is effective, into knowing your pens are safe and sound if you lose it in the classroom.

Is this really the outlook of the future?

Being part of an obedient citizen in this sunny country, 1Km up of the equator means everything. Having to put up with the weather, the humidity, the people (which are assorted, seriously), the transport, the class system and almost everything. For the one thing the citizens in this country is mostly famous for- being stuck in the same social class in their whole life. 

No doubt there are the aspirants, who aspire to ‘upgrade’ their social status. But how many of them could actually achieve that dream? Well, in the bygones past, it is possible. With taxi-drivers parents or dishwasher mother with a father who sews clothing at some garment factory lying in the central part of this sunny country-state, saving every penny whenever possible (after spending numerous amounts on gambling and drinking) to put their children into further education. And when I say further education, I meant a university degree, from of course, the NUS. After graduation, they’ll find a nice and cushy job, paying at least $3k a month, with at least 2 months bonuses and medical benefits.

 But now? It is almost impossible to even put food on the table if you are a taxi driver. Daily rentals of taxi had gone up to at least $80 (being already very cheap), up from $50 just about a decade ago. Much less to think of putting their kids into university. Aspirants are now few. Who wouldn’t be put off by such high standards of living in this sunny tropic island? Unless your kid is a straight As students who can get into a decent Junior College, attain As for A levels, get a scholarship to study at the local university, secure a job prior to graduation. Know, we knew scenarios are far and few in between.

So, this comes to the turning point- is this what really all students in this country are doing? Focusing on achieving results so as to get a degree and thus have a nice job with 3 months bonus? I’m afraid so. Now, think again. Is there any roles society could play to help reverse this trend?

By and far, the stakes in education are quite high. Because each student gets only a shot in life, in doing well. There is not a single room for any marginal mechanical error, much less human error. Imagine what harm would it does for their well-being if they do not manage to even pass their exams to get into their desired school? It would translate into not getting a certificate, a diploma, a degree, their nice job (and instead, settling into another, not so high paying job).

A job, deemed to be desired or otherwise, starts to cultivate from within the society. Now, if one said he/she’s a primary school teacher, we wouldn’t think much of them. But if one is a lecturer at a university, we would think highly of them, even though both are educators. But with educators comes the facilitators, which helps to widen the gap between the level of this noble profession.

So, it ultimately is the future- getting a degree, and settle into their desire job. Anything less, they shall experience a traumatic experience.

World's Strictest Parents Singapore (PART 2)

World's Strictest Parents Singapore (PART 1)

RIP Steve Jobs

So ultimately, Steve Jobs died, a day after the launch of iPhone 4S...iPhone (for) Steve

The leverage of Social Media

Social Media: The unintended excessive leverage of it

Since the beginning of this new era, government agencies, NGOs, companies, brands, etc had all been busy engaging with their fans, citizens, audiences-via social media platforms. With more of such platforms gaining excessive followers and users, one should really wonder if it is effective at all. Currently, the perception is that to reach out to mass of people at a short time, and with a limited budget, we use social media. What majority of people tend to not remember is that with so much information overloading within our brains, we, the audience are quite sceptical of advertisements and promotions of the various brands and products offering.

Just like the dot com bubble burst almost a decade ago, social media, one day, might prove to be somewhat saturated, causing the downfall of many. Social media, evidently being utilised by local audience since the early 2000s with many using Hi5 and Friendster, later Haboo Hotel and Live windowspace. Now, a majority had migrated to yet another new offering- Facebook. Even though netizens had been using and leveraging social media since donkeys years ago, however, it is not till now they realised how effective social media is. Social media have the ability to mould the mindset of it’s users, usually by other users of social media. 

As the word, social media goes, a vital tool to ensure each and every social media application success is first and foremost, people. A person logs onto his social media application accounts (like Facebook or Twitter) is to connect with friends, colleagues, ex-lovers, girlfriend, ex-classmates, etc. And if we apply social media to everyday normal life situation, if their friends uses this applications, they wil bound to follow suit. Because it is of no point If my friend have a Facebook account, but I have a Friendster account. There is no way the both of us are ever going to connect with each other, unless both applications reach a state of cross-platform (which I’m going to cover in another time). Only via cross-platforms, then will social media be truly effective into connecting friends together.

So, the ultimate question is: When will there be a social media bubble burst? And what comes next, after all the exciting hulas and fanfare of social media? How, as some industry leader predicts, change our lifes drastically. For sure, we know social media will not change the way we live, not for another decade, given how the pace of developments is currently right now.