So, you had just made friends with this hot guy, and are wondering if he ought to be the ONE or not.
- Swagger
You were nervous on your first date whereas he seemed to take it all in his stride, which you found attractive. But it's probably just because he's been on about a thousand dates and knows how to make them end in sex.
2) Sex pub
Most players will have a 'sex pub'. This is a nice, romantic spot where they will always take girls because it creates an ambience that makes girls amenable to the idea of sex. You can tell he's a regular if the bar staff know him by name or he's memorised all the available crisp flavours. And you will like the sex pub - that's why it's a sex pub.
3) Availability
A player cannot always be physically available because he needs to divide his time between you and the other chicks he's drilling. So he might only be free once a week, or less.
He might also often suggest meeting at short notice. Not because he's spontaneous and exciting, but because one of his other girls has changed her plans and he's calling you to fill her slot, so to speak.
4) Makes strange factual errors
The nature of a player's lifestyle is that he'll have multiple girls on the go at any given time, and this creates countless possibilities for confusion and factual slip-ups. If he thinks you like stick insects or your dad's name is Alan – but it isn't! – then it's because he's confused you with another girl. Likewise, he'll never exactly remember what he's told you about himself. For instance, he may tell you every time you see him that he trekked the Inca trail.
5) Online censorship
You're at his house using his laptop and you check your Facebook. He's logged out - always. The same goes for his email.
6) Phone
A player's mobile is often used but rarely visible. Whenever he leaves the room, so does his phone. Some players have two or more phones (although you'll only ever see one of them). A really advanced player might leave his phone in full view on the bedside table while he's in the toilet as an elaborate double bluff. That's an example of the way many players are…
7) Clever
Which is why he's able to get away with any of this. He'll always cover his tracks, have a believable excuse and be adept at smooth-talking his way around discrepancies and accusations. Not all players are clever though. If you're being played by one of the dimmer ones, that makes you even less clever than him.
8) Player paraphernalia
Flash car? Expensive watch? Silk sheets? Designer boxers? A real player will judge all purchases on whether they will increase his chances of having sex. You may think you can see past bling but don't confuse a player with a pimp... a skilled player will own stuff that you actually like. He'll smell nice too.
9) Friends
If you ask his mates/flatmates about him, they will clam up and give non-committal, monosyllabic answers, giving the impression they know virtually nothing about his life.
10) Communication
Texting is erratic. Give him a call at 9.32pm on a random night of the week and see if he answers...
Disclaimer: These signs do not prove the dude is actually a player, so please don't punch him without getting the facts straight first.
http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/love-sex/10-signs-that-he%E2%80%99s-a-player-blog-27-dan-juan.html
Ok, so he's a player and you want to break up with him. Here's how:
Face to face
Firstly, I should make clear that in a serious relationship, I would always conduct this nasty business in person. And maybe in a casual relationship too, if forced...
Pros: Instant right to reply for the dumpee.
Cons: You are vulnerable to the threat of tears and possible violence.
Ignoring
This very common tactic involves blanking your lover until they work out that it's over. At first, they will send lots of texts and mails. Eventually, they will give up.
Pros: You never have to officially dump them.
Cons: They will never know for sure why you stopped contacting them; they may even think you are dead.
Text/email
The fastest, simplest and by far most popular method of ending a casual fling is to fire off a carefully-worded message. Almost everyone has received - or dished out - some form of electronic dumping. But killjoys deem it impolite.
Pros: Fits in perfectly with a fast-paced modern lifestyle.
Cons: The victim could receive the message at an unfortunate moment, such as during an important business meeting or while they're having a really good time at Alton Towers.
Letter
I suppose this was considered the text dumping of its day. But now it seems slightly more classy and respectful. At least you're paying for a stamp.
Pros: Old-fashioned and somehow romantic. Your jilted lover can keep it forever as a memento of how much of a berk you are.
Cons: You have to pay for a stamp.
Facebook
The 'relationship status' option on Facebook is the best way of keeping up-to-date with your friends' love lives... so why not your own too? Just change your status and your newly-dumped ex will receive the news straight to their Wall.
Pros: For you, it's painless. Just the simple click of a button.
Cons: Your ex will be furious and may retaliate by announcing to Facebook that you have a small willy.
Note
This is similar to the letter but less comprehensive. It could be piece of paper through the letterbox or a Post-it note stuck to their box of Alpen. The key is the brevity.
Pros: Everyone likes receiving little notes, it's fun.
Cons: You'd have to pick a strategic time to leave the note, otherwise you could get caught and end up in a face-to-face situation.
Via someone else
This only generally happens when you are under the age of 15. It happened to me once in my school lunch break while I was queuing up in Dixy Fried Chicken and it was brutal.
Pros: If they cry, you don't have to see it.
Cons: Not acceptable behaviour if you are an adult.
In public
At a Birmingham City football match last weekend, a fan proposed to his girlfriend on the pitch. So why not do the opposite and announce to the world your decision to end it? Maybe the announcer could do it when they read out the birthdays. Or you could request a shout-out on your lover's favourite radio station.
Pros: This could be her 15 seconds of fame.
Cons: Live broadcasting is unpredictable and they may omit your dedication.
Don't tell them
Tell your friends and family you've split up, chat people up in bars, go online dating, stop having sex - essentially, become single. Just don't tell your partner about it.
Pros: Awkward dumping conversation avoided.
Cons: There's a high chance they will eventually find out you have stopped going out with them and then bad things will happen.
Phone call
As for me, I opted against all these methods and called her. I semi-rehearsed what I was going to say; my main aim was to avoid clichés such as "it's not you, it's me" and not to panic and tell her I was gay. I bumbled through it awkwardly, using the phrase "I really like you but…" more than once (it was true though). And although she went a bit quiet, the conversation ended on fairly amicable terms. I didn't feel great, but I felt like slightly less of an arsehole than if I'd used the methods above.
Pros: Makes you feel like an adult.
Cons: Scary.
http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/love-sex/10-ways-to-dump-someone-blog-11-dan-juan.html
And so, you've moved on into another new relationship. But this new relationship seemed to be lacking of something. Perhaps the feeling. Or the lack of it. And you ponder if this relationship is "fake"…here's how to tell:
You haven't met his parents
It's scary when you're introduced to the potential in-laws, but perhaps you should be more worried if they've never heard of you. This either means he doesn't see any future with you, or he's just embarrassed because he's the lovechild of John Major and Edwina Currie. Either way, it doesn't bode well.
He doesn't want to move in with you
Some fakelationships last for several blissful, if ultimately pointless, years but their make-or-break moment often arrives when someone suggests sharing a place. Many men are happy to stay in a fakelationship for ages providing they have a quick and easy get-out clause – but there's nothing quick or easy about lugging a box of 'Sopranos' DVDs and an acoustic guitar down some stairs and into a removal van while a woman shouts at you.
He still goes out with his mates a lot
Guys will always go out with their mates but it's reasonable to expect that when they're in a serious relationship, they'll do it less. So if he's regularly coming home in the early hours smelling of WKD and kebab, maybe he doesn't take the relationship very seriously.
When he goes out with his mates, he never invites you
There are two reasons that men have a "lads' night out": a) to pull girls or b) to talk about girls. So even if you're confident he isn't out chasing other women, there's still some reason he wants you out of the picture. Most likely, he wants to discuss stuff with his mates that he would never tell you.
He doesn't want to change his Facebook status
Some guys would be prepared to proclaim their devotion to you anywhere... except Facebook. That's because you're not just telling a few close friends you're unavailable, but virtually everyone you know; exes, colleagues, hot girls you added after meeting them once, even parents (see above). I have a friend who - after being nagged by his fakelationship girlfriend to change his status - spent several hours editing his settings so that when she looked at his profile he would be 'in a relationship' but when anyone else viewed it he'd be listed as 'single'. (Yes, you can do that.)
He's uncomfortable with the term 'boyfriend'
Sometimes men get into fakelationships by accident. They like to start off thinking they're in a kind of undefined sexual friendship but somewhere along the way they are compelled – or forced – to make things 'official'. But it doesn't mean this was ever their intention, or desire, and he may remain uneasy with it.
He has an aversion to planning ahead
Fakelationships are fragile and can end at any point, so their male protagonists can be reluctant to nail down future events too far in advance. If he's desperate to see you next week but glazes over whenever you mention going to Thailand on holiday next summer, perhaps he doesn't fancy the long haul in more ways than one.
http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/love-sex/are-you-in-a-fakelationship-blog-16-dan-juan.html
